(This is kinda long sorry)
So I was chillin on FB and I came across my ex page who happens to be on the friends list of one of my buddies... and seeing him brought up some old questions. Its been 5 years, 5 freaking years since we broke up and 4 years since we spoke and to this day I still wonder why we broke up. At the time he game me a bullshit ass reason of why we couldn't be together. Wait before I go into his "reason" let me back up a bit and tell you how we even got to that point....
Ok so he came to my house we were chillin solo everything was cool (so I thought) but after he leaves like that night and the next like couple of days he was acting kinda strange like he wasnt as responsive as he used to be, he didnt call as much and when we did talk it seemed like he didnt even really want to be on the phone...
So I decided to ask him where do we stand and he gets all upset like what do you mean where do we stand, what did i just say to you last night (I Love You) and all this stuff. And Im like you why are you getting so upset Im just asking a question cause things seem different yadda yadda yadda some other stuff was said but i cant remember anyway he's like I gotta call you back....
I think like a week or 2 week by and I got no phone call from him so in my head im already thinking we're headed towards spitsville and i wasn't gonna call but my bestfriend was like i think you should call him and like a fool i did...
the conversation was literally like 5 or 10 mins long it was like talking to a stranger, just a bunch of awkward silence I asked him why he did call and he's like he was still mad (Im like really over that) but he was gonna call (yeah right) anyway we got into an argument and that calls is over...
another week goes by I call and leave a message that went something like this "I dont know whats going on, I haven'e talked to you in awhile so when you get this message call me back if you dont then i take it as you dont want to be together" or something like that...
a few hours later he calls me back it was basically a break up call talking about he hasnt been home and he need time to think and he had to talk to his friends about this (im thinking you talking to everybody else about us, except for the person you need to be talking to..ME) blah blah blah so the bottom line is he want to break up... and his reason "I WAS SO HURT BY WHAT YOU SAID AND YOU MADE ME SO MAD AND I DONT EVER WANT TO BE THAT MAD AT YOU AGAIN BECAUSE I LOVE YOU" ....
so you cant be with me because you dont want to get mad at me ummmmm OK. and all this because I asked where do we stand? Literally thats all I asked and this is the result ummm OK... all this coming from the same dude who just a few weeks ago cried at the THOUGHT of us not being together and from the same dude who said if i cheated then HE WOULD JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT because he loved me to much to lose me again UMMMMM OK....
so at the time I didnt even really process his reason so i didnt think about it until waaay later and i never really got the chance to ask him what his real reason was because I KNOW that, that cannot be his real reason its to dumb...
so after all this time he still has a teeny tiny extra itty bitty hold on me because idk the real reason why we broke up so to me that chapter is unfinished, dont get me wrong I have definitely turned the page but every so often I go back because I cant wrap my mind around the fuckery that was him and his reason....
so i hope one day to run into him strike up a conversation (initiated by him) and get a chance to ask him like for real for real why did you break up with me I mean I think I have an idea why but I want to know what you have to say... after that i would be perfectly happy if i never heard from or seen him again because that chapter will finally be fucking closed
